Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Self Crit on Hamburger
I am extremely proud of this piece. The process, which was squeezed together into a two week period, was intense; orchestrating 5 actors who are all students, during finals week, was crazy, but some how we pulled it off. The talent was wonderful to work with, and Stephanie and I made a very good team in the way of getting things done. Our idea, which admittedly started as an inside joke, evolved into a 9 minute long monster that had to be wrestled to the ground like the monolithic grizzly of an edit it was. But, we did it. Is it perfect? Fuck no. Was it fun? Did I learn anything? Hell yeah.
To start on whats wrong. The audio is downright terrible at times, i.e. the looped presence for the kitchen and master scenes and Aaron's quiet dialogue in the Rec scene. We also lost footage in translation, making us build a house with rotting wood in some areas. Color correction is hit or miss, mainly because every scene needed to be touched, and we simply did not have the man power to film, edit, and compress in enough time to make it perfect.
What works? Well, we experimented with slowing down and speeding up shots. And it worked brilliantly. Our challenges have become more epic, and the plot is absurd. It's a fun piece that achieves what it's main goal is- to entertain. I love it while hating it at the same time. But for now, it's due. And I think the fact that I accept it is enough for myself.
To start on whats wrong. The audio is downright terrible at times, i.e. the looped presence for the kitchen and master scenes and Aaron's quiet dialogue in the Rec scene. We also lost footage in translation, making us build a house with rotting wood in some areas. Color correction is hit or miss, mainly because every scene needed to be touched, and we simply did not have the man power to film, edit, and compress in enough time to make it perfect.
What works? Well, we experimented with slowing down and speeding up shots. And it worked brilliantly. Our challenges have become more epic, and the plot is absurd. It's a fun piece that achieves what it's main goal is- to entertain. I love it while hating it at the same time. But for now, it's due. And I think the fact that I accept it is enough for myself.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Summary of Hamburger
A girl ventures into an alternate dimension, going through a series of battles, in search of her one true desire - COW MEAT!
Themes and intent of Hamburger
In this film we are main intent is to amuse and entertain our audience with an absurd story that leaves the viewer asking questions about what they have just seen. Then coupling the absurdity with well shot, well edited, experimental sequences to draw in our audience. So in short by experimentation and absurdity we create interest. This is a narrative piece structured in a video game like sequence inspired by the short experimental films by Maya Deren.
Our main themes are obsession and absurdity.
Obsession because of the extreme lengths that the main character will go to just to retrieve a simple hamburger that could easily be replaced.
Absurdity because not only is the situation, the dialogue and the characters absurd but so is the determination to get just a hamburger.
Plot Breakdown of Hamburger
The plot breakdown is fairly simple, the girl goes into the cabinet, where she meets up with four other characters in different situations, each involving (besides the last) a test of skill and determination. Upon confronting the last character the girl ends up waking up on her kitchen floor and once realizing she did not gain the hamburger that she had sought after she leaves in frustration. But then a hand reaches from the cabinet and puts the hamburger back in it's original place.
Production Design Statement
The aesthetic use of transitions will not only move the story along further but will also create visually pleasing moments. Many of the outdoors shots will mainly consist of pathways or passages which will show progression and the other transitions will be initiated by the opening of a door.
First draft script for "Hamburger (tentative title)"
Hamburger (tentative title)
Scene 1: In the Kitchen
Girl walks into her kitchen with a paper bag. Her back is slouched and she is obviously very tired. It’s night time. She puts the bag down, in front of the microwave, and reaches into it, pulling out a double cheeseburger and placing it on the counter. She opens it’s wrapper and picks it up to take a bite. She pauses before it reaches her mouth and then puts it back down. She walks towards the fridge while mumbling to herself.
Girl: ‘Drink drink, can’t eat without a drink…’
She opens the fridge and pulls out a soda. She closes the fridge and turns to walk back to the counter to enjoy her meal. However, she notices that her hamburger is gone. She walks towards the counter while looking around the kitchen. No one is there. She looks around the counter, inside the microwave and toaster oven. She reaches back into the bag but only pulls out paper napkins. She reaches up to start looking in the cabinets above the counter when a bright light coming out from underneath the door of the bottom cabinet catches her attention. She bends down in front of this cabinet and slowly opens the door. Light floods into the kitchen and she stares into the cabinet amazed. She reaches in a hand and feels around. We cut to her hand reaching out of a cardboard box on pavement, feeling the ground. She pulls her hand out and reveals that it’s full of leaves. She looks around the kitchen one more time to see if anyone is there before climbing into the cabinet and disappearing from the room.
Scene 2: Alley Way
The Girl emerges from a cardboard box in an alleyway/ parking lot. It’s bright outside, and she shields her eyes. She looks around her confused. Upon seeing a man talking to himself on the wall she starts to walk towards him.
Schizo: What do you mean you broke the sink?!
Well, I was flipping out in the bathroom…
And you broke the sink. Way to go dumbass.
Hey, don’t talk to me like that!
I’ll talk to you however I damn well please!
Girl gets to the man, and taps him on the shoulder.
Girl: Um, excuse me, s…
Schizo: What? Can’t you see I’m busy having a conversation?
C’mon man, just leave her alone.
Girl: I’m sorry sir, but I was wondering if you could tell me where I am? I’m lost.
Schizo: We’re here, obviously! Now scram, I got important stuff to do.
Girl: But…
Schizo: Give it a rest, miss, you’ll just make it worse.
Girl: But I don’t know where I am!
Man freaks out.
Schizo: THAT’S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU!!
Girl steps back, scared.
Girl: Challenge me…? To what?
Schizo: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. (holds out his fist, ready to play)
The girl, frightened, but determined to make sense of her current situation, holds out her fist as well. What ensues next is a very intense, dramatic game of Rock Paper Scissors, with close ups of both participants, as well as really tight cuts to heighten the action. After a few rounds, the girl beats the man.
Schizo: NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! (dramatically cries out)
The man freaks out, and falls to ground, below the view of the camera. The Girl, stunned, looks down at where the man was standing and sees a cardboard box. Totally confused, she looks into the box. Crawling closer, she reaches inside. The shot cuts to her arm in the woods, feeling the grass. Back to the alley, she puts on a grimace of determination and climbs through.
Scene 3: In the Forest
Crawling into the forest, she looks around at her surroundings while still on all fours. She stands up and dusts off her knees. She gives a quick glance to the bush that she just crawled out of and then looks around before slowly making her way in a random direction. After traveling a bit of distance, she sees a man dressed a clean pressed shirt, a tie, black suit, and black slacks. He is walking with his back straight, head stilted upwards slightly while looking forward all the while. Girl continues to walk forward slowly all while still looking at this man. She trips slightly on a root and lets out a small shriek as she stumbles forward. The man turns quickly at hearing the noise and sees the girl. He begins to walk towards her, face in a neutral expression as he stares at her.
Gentleman: ‘Good day madam. Are you alright? You seem to be a tad bit confused.’
The girls looks at him for a while, sizing him up. He is less strange than the other person was, perhaps he will be able to help her.
Girl: ‘Yes, I’m having a little trouble with something, maybe you’ll be able to help me?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes Yes, of course! Tell me what is wrong and I’ll do all that’s within my power to help such a wonderful young lady.’
Girl: ‘Ah, yea…Well I’ll start from the beginning then. You see I had just come home from work and was going to finally get a chance to eat…”(sounds fades off)
Shot changes, indicating the passage of time.
(sounds picks back up) and so, I find my self in this strange forest trying to find my hamburger and now I’m talking to you!’
During this explanation she had gotten very exaggerated in her movements and at some point in time had turned slightly away from her audience. She looked towards the man to see him mumbling to himself.
Gentleman: ‘A hamburger she says, no idea what that is…perhaps this is the master’s doing? Always giving me such problems, that master… (sigh) well, nothing else we can do about this then.’
He turns around to see the girl looking at him skeptically. He coughs slightly before talking.
Gentleman: ‘Well, this is your lucky day! You happen to be taking to the right person.’
Girl: (face lights up) ‘Really?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes, I know exactly the person that you need to see to solve this little problem of yours’
The girl begins bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet in excitement. The man continued talking.
Gentleman: ‘Well, you my dear lady, need to talk with the master!’
The girl stops bouncing and looks at him, repeating his words.
Girl: ‘The master?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes, the master! The master knows everything that goes on here, everything! There is no doubt that he will know what you have to do’
Girl: “And where might I find this… Master?’
The man turns around and starts walking away slowly.
Gentleman: ‘Well, to find the master you have to…’
He turns around quickly making direct eye contact with the girl.
Gentleman: ‘defeat me!’
At the end of this statement he makes a sweeping motion with his hand and leaves blow in that direction, pointing them towards a small table with a chess set on top. The man walks towards the chess table and stands on the side with the black pieces. The girl skeptically walk towards the table to start playing this chess game.
The man plays very dramatically and after a couple of plays the girl began playing in a slightly more dramatic way. The moves are cut really tight, moving very quickly throughout the game.
Gentleman: ‘I have never lost while playing chess, I am the current undefeated champion and despite how lovely a lady you may be I will not allow mys…’
Girl: (plays her move) ‘and checkmate.’
The man began to gasp for air, wide eyed as he slowly slumps downwards. He falls below the tabletop; still gasping for air and then there is silence. The girl walks around the table to see what has happened to the man only to see a box in his place. She looks into the box and then looks around at her surroundings. She gets down on her knees like before and she crawls into the box, completely disappearing from the forest.
Scene 4: Rec Room
The girl’s hand reaches the edge of the couch, where the camera tilts to reveal her standing in a lounge/ rec room, complete with couches and an air hockey table. She walks around, looking for someone. After not immediately finding someone, she calls out.
Girl: Hello, is anybody there?
She jumps a little when a man slowly rises up from behind a couch.
Rec Man: Yes?
Girl: (Clears throat, recovers from her fright) Are you the master?
The man climbs over the couch.
Rec Man: The master? Girl, I think your lost.
Girl: But that chess guy…
Rec Man: O. Him. He always sends people that are lost this way, it’s really such a drag. (Yawns, stretches) Are you lost?
The girl nods frantically.
Girl: I’ve been so confused. First my hamburger disappeared, then I played Rock Paper Scissors with a lunatic, he turned into a box, next thing I know I’m in the freaking woods playing chess…
The man is listening on the couch, but holds up his hand to stop her.
Rec Man: Hamburger? What’s a hamburger?
Girl: (Blinks) Um, it’s cow meat between two buns of bread. Ketchup, lettuce, mayonnaise, y’know.
The Man leaps up at her explanation, furious.
Rec Man: COW MEAT?! YOU KILLED A COW?!
Girl: (scared) wha…
Rec Man: BUT COWS ARE SO CUTE!! WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU, HUH? ALL THEY DO IS SIT AROUND AND CHEW ON GRASS AND MAKE MILK, BUT YOU, WITH YOUR COLD, EVIL HEART, SLAUGHTERED THE POOR CREATURE!!! YOU MONSTER! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!
What follows is a series of tight jump cuts showing the man getting ready for something- he ties his shoes, puts on face paint, wraps up is arms, and puts on a headband, etc. The scene then jumps to the two standing in front of the air hockey table. The girl looks into her hand and, upon seeing an air hockey stick in her hand she groans.
Girl: Great, another freakin’ game.
Rec Man: Come on, devil woman, I will avenge that poor bovine’s lost soul!
The Man hits the puck, and then the scene is sped up very quickly with the puck moving between the two very quickly. Dramatic shots of the two players are shown, making very epic but nonsensical shots. After a few seconds, the girl makes the goal.
Rec Man: NOOOOOO THAT POOR COOOOW…..!
He crumples down underneath the table. The girl looks, and sees yet another box. She sighs, moves towards it, and sticks her arm inside it. However, nothing happens, and she hits the other side of the box in frustration. All of a sudden, lights shines from underneath the door near the box. She sees it, jumps up, and moves to the door. She swings it open and walks inside.
Scene 5: Attic
The girl steps through the doorway into a dimly lit room. We see this behind the shoulder of a man, sitting at the end of a table, adorned with candles. The girl notices the man, and jumps. We never see the man’s full features- instead, we only see from his mouth down. We then see the man slowly eat the last bite of a hamburger. He licks his fingers. The girl upon seeing this, trembles with anger that everything she has worked for has been destroyed. When she finally does talk, she is trying to keep herself together.
Girl: Why... What… Who are you?
The Master: (chuckles) I’m the Master, my dear girl. Who else could I be.
The girl begins to slowly walk closer to the master.
Girl: You ate my hamburger.
The Master: Come off it, woman, you KNOW that that was MY delicious cow meat sandwich. How could anyone as lowly as you ever DREAM about eating something so… (close up on his lips, slowly) delicious.
The girl flips out, and runs towards him. She grabs the wrapper for the burger from the man’s hands, waves it in front of his face.
Girl: THIS WAS MINE!!
We then see the master stand furiously from his chair, knocking it over.
The Master: DON’T TEST ME, WENCH!!
He then grabs a blunt object and, swinging it powerfully, hits her over the head with it. As she hits the floor, the screen goes black.
Scene 6: Back in the Kitchen
The girl jerks up, wide eyed and panting heavily. She notices she’s in the kitchen, then quickly holds her head with both hands and leans forwards, dizzy from the quick movement. She has a food wrapper in her right hand that she only just noticed. She removes her hands from her head and looks at the wrapper in her right hand.
Girl: ‘Damn it! They beat me to it!’
She stands up, she walks towards the garbage can, throwing away the trash before storming out of the kitchen, upset about losing her hamburger.
As she leaves, the cabinet that she had previously crawled trough opens slightly. A hand comes out and makes it’s way up to where the burger was before it was taken. There is a hamburger in its grasp with a single bite taken out of it. The hand leaves the burger on the counter and returns to the cabinet. The focus is now on the burger, zooming in and cutting to black as we hear the cabinet door close.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Actors for "Hamburger (tentative)"
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| Trista Vercher as "Girl" |
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| Ted Kasparek as "The Schizo" |
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| Tiffany Pointer as the understudy for "The Schizo" |
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| Nicholaus Darmstaedter as "The Gentleman" |
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| Nick Brinker as the understudy for "The Gentleman" |
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| Aaron Radney as "The Animal Rights Air Hockey Player" |
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| Austin Williams as the understudy for "The Animal Rights Air Hockey Player" |
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| John Furr as "The Master" |
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| Luke McDowell as the understudy for "The Master" |
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Self Critique of Movement
The more I work with this piece, the more I enjoy it. I didn't do any color correction for the final piece: I focused on cleaning up audio and taking Jill's criticism and working it into the piece. I imagine that we will have one more critique tomorrow in class, and the piece may see one more reincarnation before I turn it in Thursday for the Spring Screening (which I have submitted 5 pieces as of right now.) God I hope I get screened, that would be glorious. Back to the problem at hand- there are still some areas in the piece that I feel need more fine tuning- notably the audio "clicks" every now and then, and since I've listened to it a bajillion times, I pick it up. Also, I think I play with the levels even more, and I need feedback on the rythym of the overlayed voice. But as a whole, I like the project and think it is successful. Is it perfect? Far from it. But I'm proud that I was able to take an idea I had and make it into something that I can watch and unfold before me. Now I just need to see whats gonna go down for the critique.
Pitch for Hamburger- Plot
The scene will open with a woman walking into a kitchen with a McDonalds bag. She takes a hamburger from the bag and places both the bag and the hamburger on the kitchen counter. She goes to the fridge to get a drink and when she closes the fridge door she sees that the hamburger is now gone. She looks around the area looking for the hamburger but can’t find it anywhere. She then notices a light shining from a cupboard under where she left the hamburger. She opens it and looks inside and sees an ally way. She crawls through the cupboard and finds herself crawling out of a box into an alley way.
Looking back and forth down the alley way, she sees someone having a conversation with someone not there. She approaches this person and asks them where they are. The person responds with ‘here, where else would we be?’ Still trying to find out where she is until this mysterious person calls her crazy. Becoming frustrated, she asks one more time. The man then becomes angry, and he then challenges her to a battle! (of rock paper scissors.) She accepts this challenge and wins. Her now defeated opponent falls and screams dramatically before turning into a box. She looks into the box and sees endless darkness. She crawls into the box and then finds herself crawling out of a box that exits into a forest.
Now feeling very confused she looks around. A very posh looking gentleman approaches her and asks her if she needs any help as she looks very lost. She responds with a yes and mentions that she can’t find her hamburger. The gentleman, not knowing what a hamburger is tell her that maybe the ‘master’ will know. She asks where she might find this master to which the gentleman dramatically responds ‘by defeating me!’ He moves his hand and leaves blow in that direction leading up to a table with chess set up. They start playing chess (very dramatically) and when our main character plays checkmate, the gentleman lets out a dramatic cry and crumbles to the ground before turning into a box. She once again crawls through this box, which leads her to a lounge type room.
She calls out hello in this room to see if anyone is there. A man comes from behind a couch (walking like he was walking up stairs) and makes his presence known. She turns around and asks him if he is the master and if he’s seen her hamburger. She begins explaining her reason for her search and when he asks about what a hamburger is she explains that it’s cow meat. He becomes appalled that she would ever eat another animal and challenges her to a battle to which she once again accepts. They start getting ready as if they were going to do a very dramatic war like physical battle, applying war paint to their faces and putting bandages on their arms etc. Then they appear standing in front of an air hockey table and begin playing (very dramatically). The winning shot is made and the woman once again finds herself the victor with the loser having turned into a box. She crawls through the box and then find that she can’t crawl through the end and end up breaking out the back of it.
She crawls out the other end in the same room and is now very confused. She looks around the room and sees another door, which she walks through. This leads to an abandoned attic type room with a long table in the center. At the end of the table she sees herself taking the last bite of a hamburger. She first questions why this person looks like her and then accuses her of stealing her hamburger. This person responds saying she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and she should just get her own. The copy stands up and then they both approach each other meeting in the middle of the table. Then the woman lifts a sword from behind her back and makes a move to strike her doppelganger in the head but right before it hits everything goes black.
She wakes up back in the kitchen and makes a move to rub her head in pain. She notices that the hand she was rubbing with has an crushed empty hamburger wrapper in it and she curses about ‘her’ having gotten it before her. She stands up and storms out of the kitchen, very upset. As she leaves a hand comes out of the cupboard she had crawled into in the beginning and places a hamburger with one bite taken out of it on the counter where it was previously. We zoom in on the hamburger and as you hear the closing of the cupboard the scene cuts to black.
THE END!
Looking back and forth down the alley way, she sees someone having a conversation with someone not there. She approaches this person and asks them where they are. The person responds with ‘here, where else would we be?’ Still trying to find out where she is until this mysterious person calls her crazy. Becoming frustrated, she asks one more time. The man then becomes angry, and he then challenges her to a battle! (of rock paper scissors.) She accepts this challenge and wins. Her now defeated opponent falls and screams dramatically before turning into a box. She looks into the box and sees endless darkness. She crawls into the box and then finds herself crawling out of a box that exits into a forest.
Now feeling very confused she looks around. A very posh looking gentleman approaches her and asks her if she needs any help as she looks very lost. She responds with a yes and mentions that she can’t find her hamburger. The gentleman, not knowing what a hamburger is tell her that maybe the ‘master’ will know. She asks where she might find this master to which the gentleman dramatically responds ‘by defeating me!’ He moves his hand and leaves blow in that direction leading up to a table with chess set up. They start playing chess (very dramatically) and when our main character plays checkmate, the gentleman lets out a dramatic cry and crumbles to the ground before turning into a box. She once again crawls through this box, which leads her to a lounge type room.
She calls out hello in this room to see if anyone is there. A man comes from behind a couch (walking like he was walking up stairs) and makes his presence known. She turns around and asks him if he is the master and if he’s seen her hamburger. She begins explaining her reason for her search and when he asks about what a hamburger is she explains that it’s cow meat. He becomes appalled that she would ever eat another animal and challenges her to a battle to which she once again accepts. They start getting ready as if they were going to do a very dramatic war like physical battle, applying war paint to their faces and putting bandages on their arms etc. Then they appear standing in front of an air hockey table and begin playing (very dramatically). The winning shot is made and the woman once again finds herself the victor with the loser having turned into a box. She crawls through the box and then find that she can’t crawl through the end and end up breaking out the back of it.
She crawls out the other end in the same room and is now very confused. She looks around the room and sees another door, which she walks through. This leads to an abandoned attic type room with a long table in the center. At the end of the table she sees herself taking the last bite of a hamburger. She first questions why this person looks like her and then accuses her of stealing her hamburger. This person responds saying she doesn’t know what she’s talking about and she should just get her own. The copy stands up and then they both approach each other meeting in the middle of the table. Then the woman lifts a sword from behind her back and makes a move to strike her doppelganger in the head but right before it hits everything goes black.
She wakes up back in the kitchen and makes a move to rub her head in pain. She notices that the hand she was rubbing with has an crushed empty hamburger wrapper in it and she curses about ‘her’ having gotten it before her. She stands up and storms out of the kitchen, very upset. As she leaves a hand comes out of the cupboard she had crawled into in the beginning and places a hamburger with one bite taken out of it on the counter where it was previously. We zoom in on the hamburger and as you hear the closing of the cupboard the scene cuts to black.
THE END!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
ColorBlind Documentary
Quick summary: This will be a documentary on the beginning and the evolution of the garage band ColorBlind.
Pitch: The film will be a series of interviews of the various band members of ColorBlind, with snippets of the band practicing and joking around throughout. What we want to portray is sense of friendship among the band members, accented by their music. The film will culminate in a performance by the band, followed by the question, "So where do you hope the band will go rom here?"
Motivation: Our main focus on this piece will be three-fold: to illustrate the camaraderie between band members, to show the bands progression, and to bring awareness to the viewer on how a typical garage band functions and gets it's feet on the ground.
Reference:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/ColorBlind/182161385127669
Equipment: We will be using the Kodak HD Camera, tripod, standard lighting equipment, and the boom mike with all related sound equipment.
Environment: Will be a mix between indoor shooting with a hint of outdoors footage. The footage indoors will take place in the Toxic Lounge and various living rooms. Some interviews and practices can be held outside in order to add variety to the film.
Pitch: The film will be a series of interviews of the various band members of ColorBlind, with snippets of the band practicing and joking around throughout. What we want to portray is sense of friendship among the band members, accented by their music. The film will culminate in a performance by the band, followed by the question, "So where do you hope the band will go rom here?"
Motivation: Our main focus on this piece will be three-fold: to illustrate the camaraderie between band members, to show the bands progression, and to bring awareness to the viewer on how a typical garage band functions and gets it's feet on the ground.
Reference:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/ColorBlind/182161385127669
Equipment: We will be using the Kodak HD Camera, tripod, standard lighting equipment, and the boom mike with all related sound equipment.
Environment: Will be a mix between indoor shooting with a hint of outdoors footage. The footage indoors will take place in the Toxic Lounge and various living rooms. Some interviews and practices can be held outside in order to add variety to the film.
Crit on Crits on "Movement."
In short, I really needed the critique because it opened my eyes on just how rough a cut my rough cut was. My piece needed an overhaul. While I didn't shoot any new footage (although I did rerecord audio), by cutting out the parts that were unnecessary and by editing the audio to make it more tense really helped. I think that I honestly needed that critique. I needed to get ripped down to build back up. SO thanks, class. My piece is better cuz ya'll told it like it was.
Assignment Write-Up for "Block"
After my original movie was basically torn apart during critique, I looked at my piece and was like, "Alright, how can I make this movie EASY TO WATCH," because I completely agreed with a large amount of the criticism that said that it was soooooo slow. So what did I do?
I cut out FIVE MINUTES OF FOOTAGE.
And honestly, that was definitely the best decision I've made with the piece. It doesn't lose anything; in fact, I think that it pushes the message even more, and illustrates the progression of her thought process even more.
Here are the various problems the first had and how I dealt with them:
1: My God, it's slow.
A: I cut out five minutes of unecessary footage, and as the main character begins to become more excited, I spliced in newly recorded audio that illustrates her excitement. I then took the audio and pushed them really close to each other, in order to make her thoughts more exciteing, culminating to her thoughts overlapping when she's typing.
2: Um, his clothes? Those ain't church clothes.
A: Well, if I don't say they are church clothes, you won't wonder why they aren't so I cut the audio clip. In fact I caught all audio before she begins to think about this guys story.
3: Are the audio and shots in the begining necessary?
A: In short, no. So BOOM they were cut. It was one of those things where you need to figure out what is necessary to push the story to push forward. So I cut out 5 minutes of footage.
4: The last scene is too long. Fix it. I don't want to fall asleep.
A: The ending is supposed to be the culmination of my message. So if my audience are getting bored with my movie, I failed as a film maker. So- the way I fixed the end is by making a sudden jump cut to her at the computer, a second, then overlapped the audio to make her thoughts seem to be overflowing, one more second end. I think it's a great solution.
I cut out FIVE MINUTES OF FOOTAGE.
And honestly, that was definitely the best decision I've made with the piece. It doesn't lose anything; in fact, I think that it pushes the message even more, and illustrates the progression of her thought process even more.
Here are the various problems the first had and how I dealt with them:
1: My God, it's slow.
A: I cut out five minutes of unecessary footage, and as the main character begins to become more excited, I spliced in newly recorded audio that illustrates her excitement. I then took the audio and pushed them really close to each other, in order to make her thoughts more exciteing, culminating to her thoughts overlapping when she's typing.
2: Um, his clothes? Those ain't church clothes.
A: Well, if I don't say they are church clothes, you won't wonder why they aren't so I cut the audio clip. In fact I caught all audio before she begins to think about this guys story.
3: Are the audio and shots in the begining necessary?
A: In short, no. So BOOM they were cut. It was one of those things where you need to figure out what is necessary to push the story to push forward. So I cut out 5 minutes of footage.
4: The last scene is too long. Fix it. I don't want to fall asleep.
A: The ending is supposed to be the culmination of my message. So if my audience are getting bored with my movie, I failed as a film maker. So- the way I fixed the end is by making a sudden jump cut to her at the computer, a second, then overlapped the audio to make her thoughts seem to be overflowing, one more second end. I think it's a great solution.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Self Critique for the rough cut of "Movement"
So, "Movement" is finally done.... sort of. Since I missed class due to me being sick last week, I was behind in the whole audio department. I had a rough time in Final Cut Pro, since I had to basically freestyle the whole audio bit. I'm happy to be done with it, let me tell. The cut is still rough; I am definitely looking forward to showing the piece in class, get feedback, and then writing another self-critique.
But, since I am here to critique myself, I due have some things that I regret. The acting from Kelsey, while good mostly, is wooden in a few areas, and the dialogue can be dead pan at times. Their are a few scenes where cars drive by, and while I did edit around them, it would have worked better if I had just reshot in the first place. Next, I need to pay more attention to my presence and ambient noise. I was able to fiddle with the volume levels, and it's a good thing that I recorded presence before I did anything else, because I was able to loop it in to join the scenes, but I need to pay more attention to the mic levels.
All around though, I'm very satisfied with the project. Kelsey was fun to work with, and I was able to fully realize my idea, I think. I definitely need to ask Jill a few transition questions, but I am happy with it.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Breakdown of "Movement"
My main focus with this piece is to illustrate an idea being formed, triggered by a random occurrence.
We start with Kim, a young woman who, for one reason or another, is plagued by writer's block. Since she can't sleep, she heads out into the early morning to get some fresh air, feeling suffocated by her small room and her writer's block. She ends up in a park, where she slowly begins to relax. Once there, she sees a well groomed, well dressed man, laying on a bench asleep. This confuses her, and piques her curiosity. She doesn't interact with the man, but as she begins to make her way around the park, she dwells on the thought of that man. Eventually, she conceives a backstory for the man, and her inspiration swells. She hurries back to her apartment, where she begins to type furiously, overtaken by this idea.
Their are three scenes to the film. They basically go "Scene 1: inside, cramped" to "Scene 2: outside, open" to "Scene 3: inside, open." The transitions between each scene is going to be cuts, but it won't be too jarring because each will begin/end with Kim moving to somewhere. By establishing a general atmosphere for each scene, it will allow me differentiate between them, while the voice over and the movement will help smooth them all together.
Kim's character is the standard "starts out stressed over something, gets over it, and realizes something" character. All of her dialogue is voice over, which helps us establish a portrait of her mental space. Her dialogue for scene 1 and about the first half of scene two illustrates how tired she is, how exasperated she is with her mental block. This is shown by the curt, fragmented lines of her thoughts. However, as the piece unfolds and her brain starts developing these ideas, she begins to think in long passages, paragraphs. The lines will start off quietly, questioning her ideas, but will escalate to excitement: she's finally broken through her mental block and she is ecstatic. Her general demeanor at the end of the piece is going to focused, completely encompassed by this thought that she's building.
The man on the bench is a simple character- he's less of a character and more of a catalyst for the idea that Kim has that blossoms into a story that breaks her block.
For the actors, I'm going to need 2- one for Kim, the other for the man. The man's job is easy- lay on the bench and be "asleep." However, the woman who plays Kim has to have some experience with taking direction and delivering lines. Thankfully, Kelsey Worley has been a part of numerous theatrical productions and follows direction very well. She will be a pleasure to work with, and I think that she fits the bill well for the type of character I'm going for.
In the way of stunts, effects, make up, special props.... really, there aren't any. I will probably need a microphone for the voice over dialogue, but honestly, there's not a lot going on in this script. It's not so much about the spectacle than it is the story of the escalation of an idea. The visuals are merely a means to an end, and there won't be any fancy effects.
In the way of locations, I will be using 2: a small dormitory room and bathroom (in order to push the "suffocation" idea) and the park on Poplar Avenue, Memphis, Tn, as well as the areas in between (sidewalk, crosswalk). These are ideal because they are two radically different places that are relatively close to one another.
The main power and light sources will be illustrated in an upcoming post that will also include location shots. Stay tuned.
We start with Kim, a young woman who, for one reason or another, is plagued by writer's block. Since she can't sleep, she heads out into the early morning to get some fresh air, feeling suffocated by her small room and her writer's block. She ends up in a park, where she slowly begins to relax. Once there, she sees a well groomed, well dressed man, laying on a bench asleep. This confuses her, and piques her curiosity. She doesn't interact with the man, but as she begins to make her way around the park, she dwells on the thought of that man. Eventually, she conceives a backstory for the man, and her inspiration swells. She hurries back to her apartment, where she begins to type furiously, overtaken by this idea.
Their are three scenes to the film. They basically go "Scene 1: inside, cramped" to "Scene 2: outside, open" to "Scene 3: inside, open." The transitions between each scene is going to be cuts, but it won't be too jarring because each will begin/end with Kim moving to somewhere. By establishing a general atmosphere for each scene, it will allow me differentiate between them, while the voice over and the movement will help smooth them all together.
Kim's character is the standard "starts out stressed over something, gets over it, and realizes something" character. All of her dialogue is voice over, which helps us establish a portrait of her mental space. Her dialogue for scene 1 and about the first half of scene two illustrates how tired she is, how exasperated she is with her mental block. This is shown by the curt, fragmented lines of her thoughts. However, as the piece unfolds and her brain starts developing these ideas, she begins to think in long passages, paragraphs. The lines will start off quietly, questioning her ideas, but will escalate to excitement: she's finally broken through her mental block and she is ecstatic. Her general demeanor at the end of the piece is going to focused, completely encompassed by this thought that she's building.
The man on the bench is a simple character- he's less of a character and more of a catalyst for the idea that Kim has that blossoms into a story that breaks her block.
For the actors, I'm going to need 2- one for Kim, the other for the man. The man's job is easy- lay on the bench and be "asleep." However, the woman who plays Kim has to have some experience with taking direction and delivering lines. Thankfully, Kelsey Worley has been a part of numerous theatrical productions and follows direction very well. She will be a pleasure to work with, and I think that she fits the bill well for the type of character I'm going for.
In the way of stunts, effects, make up, special props.... really, there aren't any. I will probably need a microphone for the voice over dialogue, but honestly, there's not a lot going on in this script. It's not so much about the spectacle than it is the story of the escalation of an idea. The visuals are merely a means to an end, and there won't be any fancy effects.
In the way of locations, I will be using 2: a small dormitory room and bathroom (in order to push the "suffocation" idea) and the park on Poplar Avenue, Memphis, Tn, as well as the areas in between (sidewalk, crosswalk). These are ideal because they are two radically different places that are relatively close to one another.
The main power and light sources will be illustrated in an upcoming post that will also include location shots. Stay tuned.
Pictures for "Movement"
This is a picture of the actors: on the left, Kelsey Britton Worley (Kim), and on the right, Nicolas Steven Pflug (Man on the Bench).
This is Kim's bathroom. Will be used in the opening shot.
This is Kim's room. I want it to feel cluttered, so it really drives home the idea that she is suffocating in her room.
Two views of sidewalk outside of the apartment.
View of sidewalk between crosswalk and apartment.
Crosswalk.
Views of the park.
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