Hamburger (tentative title)
Scene 1: In the Kitchen
Girl walks into her kitchen with a paper bag. Her back is slouched and she is obviously very tired. It’s night time. She puts the bag down, in front of the microwave, and reaches into it, pulling out a double cheeseburger and placing it on the counter. She opens it’s wrapper and picks it up to take a bite. She pauses before it reaches her mouth and then puts it back down. She walks towards the fridge while mumbling to herself.
Girl: ‘Drink drink, can’t eat without a drink…’
She opens the fridge and pulls out a soda. She closes the fridge and turns to walk back to the counter to enjoy her meal. However, she notices that her hamburger is gone. She walks towards the counter while looking around the kitchen. No one is there. She looks around the counter, inside the microwave and toaster oven. She reaches back into the bag but only pulls out paper napkins. She reaches up to start looking in the cabinets above the counter when a bright light coming out from underneath the door of the bottom cabinet catches her attention. She bends down in front of this cabinet and slowly opens the door. Light floods into the kitchen and she stares into the cabinet amazed. She reaches in a hand and feels around. We cut to her hand reaching out of a cardboard box on pavement, feeling the ground. She pulls her hand out and reveals that it’s full of leaves. She looks around the kitchen one more time to see if anyone is there before climbing into the cabinet and disappearing from the room.
Scene 2: Alley Way
The Girl emerges from a cardboard box in an alleyway/ parking lot. It’s bright outside, and she shields her eyes. She looks around her confused. Upon seeing a man talking to himself on the wall she starts to walk towards him.
Schizo: What do you mean you broke the sink?!
Well, I was flipping out in the bathroom…
And you broke the sink. Way to go dumbass.
Hey, don’t talk to me like that!
I’ll talk to you however I damn well please!
Girl gets to the man, and taps him on the shoulder.
Girl: Um, excuse me, s…
Schizo: What? Can’t you see I’m busy having a conversation?
C’mon man, just leave her alone.
Girl: I’m sorry sir, but I was wondering if you could tell me where I am? I’m lost.
Schizo: We’re here, obviously! Now scram, I got important stuff to do.
Girl: But…
Schizo: Give it a rest, miss, you’ll just make it worse.
Girl: But I don’t know where I am!
Man freaks out.
Schizo: THAT’S IT! I CHALLENGE YOU!!
Girl steps back, scared.
Girl: Challenge me…? To what?
Schizo: ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. (holds out his fist, ready to play)
The girl, frightened, but determined to make sense of her current situation, holds out her fist as well. What ensues next is a very intense, dramatic game of Rock Paper Scissors, with close ups of both participants, as well as really tight cuts to heighten the action. After a few rounds, the girl beats the man.
Schizo: NO! THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! (dramatically cries out)
The man freaks out, and falls to ground, below the view of the camera. The Girl, stunned, looks down at where the man was standing and sees a cardboard box. Totally confused, she looks into the box. Crawling closer, she reaches inside. The shot cuts to her arm in the woods, feeling the grass. Back to the alley, she puts on a grimace of determination and climbs through.
Scene 3: In the Forest
Crawling into the forest, she looks around at her surroundings while still on all fours. She stands up and dusts off her knees. She gives a quick glance to the bush that she just crawled out of and then looks around before slowly making her way in a random direction. After traveling a bit of distance, she sees a man dressed a clean pressed shirt, a tie, black suit, and black slacks. He is walking with his back straight, head stilted upwards slightly while looking forward all the while. Girl continues to walk forward slowly all while still looking at this man. She trips slightly on a root and lets out a small shriek as she stumbles forward. The man turns quickly at hearing the noise and sees the girl. He begins to walk towards her, face in a neutral expression as he stares at her.
Gentleman: ‘Good day madam. Are you alright? You seem to be a tad bit confused.’
The girls looks at him for a while, sizing him up. He is less strange than the other person was, perhaps he will be able to help her.
Girl: ‘Yes, I’m having a little trouble with something, maybe you’ll be able to help me?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes Yes, of course! Tell me what is wrong and I’ll do all that’s within my power to help such a wonderful young lady.’
Girl: ‘Ah, yea…Well I’ll start from the beginning then. You see I had just come home from work and was going to finally get a chance to eat…”(sounds fades off)
Shot changes, indicating the passage of time.
(sounds picks back up) and so, I find my self in this strange forest trying to find my hamburger and now I’m talking to you!’
During this explanation she had gotten very exaggerated in her movements and at some point in time had turned slightly away from her audience. She looked towards the man to see him mumbling to himself.
Gentleman: ‘A hamburger she says, no idea what that is…perhaps this is the master’s doing? Always giving me such problems, that master… (sigh) well, nothing else we can do about this then.’
He turns around to see the girl looking at him skeptically. He coughs slightly before talking.
Gentleman: ‘Well, this is your lucky day! You happen to be taking to the right person.’
Girl: (face lights up) ‘Really?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes, I know exactly the person that you need to see to solve this little problem of yours’
The girl begins bouncing slightly on the balls of her feet in excitement. The man continued talking.
Gentleman: ‘Well, you my dear lady, need to talk with the master!’
The girl stops bouncing and looks at him, repeating his words.
Girl: ‘The master?’
Gentleman: ‘Yes, the master! The master knows everything that goes on here, everything! There is no doubt that he will know what you have to do’
Girl: “And where might I find this… Master?’
The man turns around and starts walking away slowly.
Gentleman: ‘Well, to find the master you have to…’
He turns around quickly making direct eye contact with the girl.
Gentleman: ‘defeat me!’
At the end of this statement he makes a sweeping motion with his hand and leaves blow in that direction, pointing them towards a small table with a chess set on top. The man walks towards the chess table and stands on the side with the black pieces. The girl skeptically walk towards the table to start playing this chess game.
The man plays very dramatically and after a couple of plays the girl began playing in a slightly more dramatic way. The moves are cut really tight, moving very quickly throughout the game.
Gentleman: ‘I have never lost while playing chess, I am the current undefeated champion and despite how lovely a lady you may be I will not allow mys…’
Girl: (plays her move) ‘and checkmate.’
The man began to gasp for air, wide eyed as he slowly slumps downwards. He falls below the tabletop; still gasping for air and then there is silence. The girl walks around the table to see what has happened to the man only to see a box in his place. She looks into the box and then looks around at her surroundings. She gets down on her knees like before and she crawls into the box, completely disappearing from the forest.
Scene 4: Rec Room
The girl’s hand reaches the edge of the couch, where the camera tilts to reveal her standing in a lounge/ rec room, complete with couches and an air hockey table. She walks around, looking for someone. After not immediately finding someone, she calls out.
Girl: Hello, is anybody there?
She jumps a little when a man slowly rises up from behind a couch.
Rec Man: Yes?
Girl: (Clears throat, recovers from her fright) Are you the master?
The man climbs over the couch.
Rec Man: The master? Girl, I think your lost.
Girl: But that chess guy…
Rec Man: O. Him. He always sends people that are lost this way, it’s really such a drag. (Yawns, stretches) Are you lost?
The girl nods frantically.
Girl: I’ve been so confused. First my hamburger disappeared, then I played Rock Paper Scissors with a lunatic, he turned into a box, next thing I know I’m in the freaking woods playing chess…
The man is listening on the couch, but holds up his hand to stop her.
Rec Man: Hamburger? What’s a hamburger?
Girl: (Blinks) Um, it’s cow meat between two buns of bread. Ketchup, lettuce, mayonnaise, y’know.
The Man leaps up at her explanation, furious.
Rec Man: COW MEAT?! YOU KILLED A COW?!
Girl: (scared) wha…
Rec Man: BUT COWS ARE SO CUTE!! WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU, HUH? ALL THEY DO IS SIT AROUND AND CHEW ON GRASS AND MAKE MILK, BUT YOU, WITH YOUR COLD, EVIL HEART, SLAUGHTERED THE POOR CREATURE!!! YOU MONSTER! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!
What follows is a series of tight jump cuts showing the man getting ready for something- he ties his shoes, puts on face paint, wraps up is arms, and puts on a headband, etc. The scene then jumps to the two standing in front of the air hockey table. The girl looks into her hand and, upon seeing an air hockey stick in her hand she groans.
Girl: Great, another freakin’ game.
Rec Man: Come on, devil woman, I will avenge that poor bovine’s lost soul!
The Man hits the puck, and then the scene is sped up very quickly with the puck moving between the two very quickly. Dramatic shots of the two players are shown, making very epic but nonsensical shots. After a few seconds, the girl makes the goal.
Rec Man: NOOOOOO THAT POOR COOOOW…..!
He crumples down underneath the table. The girl looks, and sees yet another box. She sighs, moves towards it, and sticks her arm inside it. However, nothing happens, and she hits the other side of the box in frustration. All of a sudden, lights shines from underneath the door near the box. She sees it, jumps up, and moves to the door. She swings it open and walks inside.
Scene 5: Attic
The girl steps through the doorway into a dimly lit room. We see this behind the shoulder of a man, sitting at the end of a table, adorned with candles. The girl notices the man, and jumps. We never see the man’s full features- instead, we only see from his mouth down. We then see the man slowly eat the last bite of a hamburger. He licks his fingers. The girl upon seeing this, trembles with anger that everything she has worked for has been destroyed. When she finally does talk, she is trying to keep herself together.
Girl: Why... What… Who are you?
The Master: (chuckles) I’m the Master, my dear girl. Who else could I be.
The girl begins to slowly walk closer to the master.
Girl: You ate my hamburger.
The Master: Come off it, woman, you KNOW that that was MY delicious cow meat sandwich. How could anyone as lowly as you ever DREAM about eating something so… (close up on his lips, slowly) delicious.
The girl flips out, and runs towards him. She grabs the wrapper for the burger from the man’s hands, waves it in front of his face.
Girl: THIS WAS MINE!!
We then see the master stand furiously from his chair, knocking it over.
The Master: DON’T TEST ME, WENCH!!
He then grabs a blunt object and, swinging it powerfully, hits her over the head with it. As she hits the floor, the screen goes black.
Scene 6: Back in the Kitchen
The girl jerks up, wide eyed and panting heavily. She notices she’s in the kitchen, then quickly holds her head with both hands and leans forwards, dizzy from the quick movement. She has a food wrapper in her right hand that she only just noticed. She removes her hands from her head and looks at the wrapper in her right hand.
Girl: ‘Damn it! They beat me to it!’
She stands up, she walks towards the garbage can, throwing away the trash before storming out of the kitchen, upset about losing her hamburger.
As she leaves, the cabinet that she had previously crawled trough opens slightly. A hand comes out and makes it’s way up to where the burger was before it was taken. There is a hamburger in its grasp with a single bite taken out of it. The hand leaves the burger on the counter and returns to the cabinet. The focus is now on the burger, zooming in and cutting to black as we hear the cabinet door close.
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